The Learning Learner

Part 1/2

Today marks the day I’ve finally written my learner’s license after 3 attempts at 3 different test stations around the Johannesburg region. The first of these attempts happened at the Boksburg Driving License Testing Center (DLTC). A small town east of the capital, and also my first time landing on those sides of the land. I went in blind and naive without reading my booking details correctly. The second attempt was in Randburg DLTC, where I encountered my first bribe offer after failing an eye test. I wasn’t in any of that mood so I ditched them.

Today I went to Laanglaagte DLTC and funny enough, it was my first attempt at writing inside the exam room and I was pretty much confident in myself. Just to keep you suspended, I’ll share my results after I’ve shared the juicy details of navigating the fields. It's been a long month thinking this up and I feel like giving the upcoming learners; a heads-up.

Firstly, I find cars boring if they are not loud, big, and menace-looking. In short, a G Wagon or a Jeep. Unfortunately, I was never privileged to be around them long enough to have an interest beyond the streets and internet images. #The handbrake issue plays a large part in it and so due to the demands of my job, responsibilities and the price of Uber/Bolt, a car is not a bad idea right now.

I started by first contacting a local driving school and they responded swiftly with an email bearing quotes for all kinds of car, truck, and even bike licenses with varying prices. They followed up with a phone call after I explained that it was my first time and that the process was not clear to me. The guy said I was going to get 2 X 2-hour revision classes, a booking, and a car to pick me up to and fro the DLTC. I was sold until he told me of the price and so like a savvy consumer, I promised to get back to him at the end of the month.

I shuffled the matter from the back of my head when talking with my family later on, and mentioned the phone call because I needed their help in the case. My brother enlightened me about the online self-booking method for a fee of R108*. The only thing that I had to do was study by myself, and from thereon choose a date of my liking and then I’ll be set.

I am a big supporter of self-learning so I went online and researched the process of booking one. I must add that my laptop’s mouse sensor pad has some technical issues so I am using an external mouse to navigate. I remember browsing the application form and then hovering over the available DLTCs around Johannesburg's tab and found Fordsburg and Boksburg to be the nearest. Then I quickly clicked on the dates and downloaded the pdf to start my self-learning journey.

After noting down the items to prepare for the day, I went out in search of the K53 book which I found at my local Shoprite supermarket. I was immediately psyched about road signs and even started random road sign tutorials with every driver that I met in a car with from then on until the day I was going to write my exams.

Then the day came when I was scheduled for the Fordsburg appointment and I woke up early, and very calm. I caught a taxi to town to make final preps like pictures, and copies because since I was going to Fordsburg, I had planned to walk there while I read and practiced my road signs along. But then, when I consulted my Google Maps for the address to the DLTC; I shrunk in panic.

That’s when I realized that the location was in fact Boksburg and not Fordsburg. The DLTC was not even in Boksburg but on the outskirts of the town so I requested an Uber ride without hesitation. I was starting to sweat and panic but calmed down when the ride arrived within a minute. When I shared my story with the driver, he asked for a special favor. That if I could cancel the ride so that he could keep the commission for himself since the company had a reputation for screwing the drivers.

I’ve been in too many rides to know of the situation and so I obliged since we even had time to refill, pump tires, and even wash the windscreen. 

This also presented me with a chance to test him and we quizzed each other about my upcoming exam until my K53 book, notes and papers were all over the dashboard and floor of the car. We drove out of the city and went through toll gates, industrial firms, parched abandoned lands, and squatter camps while we quizzed each other and my confidence was starting to build up.

We then drove to a building in the centre of a large yard that had a single entrance and exit gate. The parking lot was big enough to have driving lessons on it because there were a few driving school-marked cars and trucks doing rounds around them.

The building at the centre kept getting wider and larger as we approached it, and the driver dropped me off at the front of the only entrance where some people were already standing in the sun (bathing) in groups, some with documents lying on the grass, and one guy selling pens, sweets, and smokes. I greeted the seller to buy a smoke and to survey the tempo of the area before going into the information desk and enquiring about exam rooms.

I was ready to write immediately but that’s when I learned of the procedure where I was to fill in a blue form, take an eye test, pay, and then write my exam. The entire thing could easily take 20 minutes and I had 15 minutes to make it to the exam room. But when I told the man in a suit behind the glass door this, he simply said “ Be fast. ..”

I filled in the form while I was waiting in the queue for an eye test simultaneously from my lap. Benefits of learning in overpopulated classrooms in the village. After thereon, I submitted it and returned in time to get in the eye test cubicle. I noticed there was only one guy working between the 2 cubicles in a small closed space, while murmurs of a chilled conversation were happening safe away from our eyeshots.

One of the cubicles was empty, so I walked in following the noise till I reached a group of officials lazing on spinning chairs and mobile phones. I told them my story and after one of them looked at the Blue form in my hands, he sort of felt sorry for me because my face often does not lie when I am panicking and confused.

He opened up one of the cubicles and he asked if I ever took an eye test before and I said no. He asked if I wore glasses and I said no still. There was scope in front of me that I recognized from movies so I looked in but it was pitch black. He told me to look for the letter E and when I did, I told him. There was a gear in beneath the scope and I had to toggle between the 4 directions it was pointing. He asked what time was my exam and after I told him, he responded “ Be Fast”

I toggled the gear accordingly with the E’s direction till the lights part came in and finished probably in record time. The guy came over and was like “Good job Mr. Sipho, now run up the payment area at the end of the hallway and they will direct you to your exam room” I am close, I was thinking as I got to the door before the same guy went on to say “Mr. Sipho sir, your bag”

There were 5/6 people in the queue for the payment teller when I walked in, and I even recognized a face or two that I was with earlier when filling in my blue form. I told them my situation sincerely and to my surprise, a few vouched for me and agreed to put me next in the line. When I walked up to the cubicle after the last person was assisted, the woman behind the glass counter noticed that I had just walked in. She then asked the people sitting out if they knew about my advance and when they vouched, I beamed like a child who got a break from getting a hiding.

The lady then asked for my ID number and I gave it to her but she still had this very confused look on her face. She then asked for my booking information and I slid them under the glass window. And then she asked if I could read.

With a pen, she underlined 2 items on the paper before handing them back to me and told me softly to call the next person and go read the underlined items on the side. My beam, glow, voice, and confidence slowly melted as I read the first pen stroke next to a date which was the day of the exam, and the other pen stroke was on the date of something called an expiry date.

This means that there were two accounts on which I had to visit the DLTC. The first was to pay before the expiry date, and the second date was the one I was to come to write my exams.

I sat down and looked at the guys sitting in the queue with concerned looks in their eyes and I simply said to them “Wrong date”. They shrugged and smiled in recognition and I packed my papers in my bag and began my walk back out of the centre but not first passing by my helpers along the way about the wrong date and confusion. That’s when I realized ever since I was there, I haven't seen a lot of people with the blue form. It was like how hospitals scale cases between emergencies and minor injuries. In this case, I was the new lamb and everyone was sort of guiding me along the wilderness.

Reading. What kind of writer am I going to make if I miss such small stupid details? The thought kept ringing on my way out and the trip back home. I had to Uber into the city and from there, I took a cab to Joburg, which took its own damn time to fill up and I got myself a can of beer while we waited.

When I got to the city, I was still bitter and did not want anything to do with anyone or anything and wanted to just get home and sleep it off. But still, after all that, when I got to my gate; I discovered that I had also lost my house keys. For a while, I wondered what wrong did I do with the universe. And so after my housemate heard my recovered voice from the gate, I decided to keep it short with greetings and my lost keys. For the next time, I would plan my next DLTC appointment with a new plan from a fresh head.